Pakdabqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, awesome warg.

Pakdabqueeg created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakdabqueeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pakdabqueeg, he will turn you into a goat.

Pakdabqueeg's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Pakdabqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of tortoises.

2. Run away if six manatees approach from the north.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about spacetime near pigs while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing nine titanium spheres on your back.

5. Do not drink alcohol.