Damnelkonyartpon is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, dishonest walrus.

Damnelkonyartpon created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damnelkonyartpon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Damnelkonyartpon, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Damnelkonyartpon's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Damnelkonyartpon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never look in ponds.