Aflargloop is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciless aardvark.

Aflargloop created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Aflargloop, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Aflargloop, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Aflargloop's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Aflargloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three cats in a large pit.

2. Put Aflargloop first in all things.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.