Cedlopham is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, prudent dragon.

Cedlopham created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cedlopham, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cedlopham, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cedlopham's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cedlopham's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cedlopham.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing orange stockings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never wear brown scarves.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Cedlopham in the centre of the settlement.