Fotpidmis is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, pitiless toad.

Fotpidmis created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Fotpidmis, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fotpidmis, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fotpidmis' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fotpidmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never hurt tapirs.