Wigdossmif is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, deceitful walrus.

Wigdossmif created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigdossmif, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wigdossmif, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Wigdossmif's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Wigdossmif's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wigdossmif.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Never think about chromosomes.