Tarpfedhas Butjadren is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental sheep.

Tarpfedhas Butjadren created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfedhas Butjadren, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tarpfedhas Butjadren, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tarpfedhas Butjadren's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tarpfedhas Butjadren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always wear orange.