Gomflatkem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish bat.

Gomflatkem created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomflatkem, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gomflatkem, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gomflatkem's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gomflatkem's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dolphins.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always help cats in need.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.