Xuckmabgad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, moody bear.

Xuckmabgad created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckmabgad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xuckmabgad, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Xuckmabgad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Xuckmabgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing cyan boots and balancing six zinc spheres on your feet.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.