Kikrillcar is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, uncaring lion.

Kikrillcar created the Black Eye Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikrillcar, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kikrillcar, she will turn you into a plant.

Kikrillcar's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kikrillcar's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kikrillcar five times a day.

2. Always help sick gulls.

3. Erect eight iron sculptures of Kikrillcar on top of important buildings.

4. Never sit in the presence of whales.

5. Do not eat aubergines.