Dabtipbat is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, caring donkey.

Dabtipbat created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dabtipbat, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dabtipbat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dabtipbat's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Dabtipbat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the east.

3. Feed all hungry doves.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.