Flagtunfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, pitiless octopus.

Flagtunfarn created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagtunfarn, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flagtunfarn, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flagtunfarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Flagtunfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat garlic.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near manatees while wearing green shirts and balancing four nickel spheres on your legs.

4. Always look after injured otters.

5. Do not listen to music.