Bafortceb is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unselfish guinea pig.

Bafortceb created humanity four million years ago.

If you believe in Bafortceb, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bafortceb, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bafortceb's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Bafortceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect three iron sculptures of Bafortceb on top of important buildings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never paint your legs magenta.

5. Never talk about tortoises.