Bodhimtin is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, ill-tempered crocodile.

Bodhimtin created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodhimtin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bodhimtin, he will torture you forever.

Bodhimtin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bodhimtin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Bodhimtin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.