Kopgadvon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, contented whale.

Kopgadvon created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopgadvon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kopgadvon, he will turn you into a mole.

Kopgadvon's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Kopgadvon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always obey Kopgadvon's priests.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near tapirs while wearing mauve rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your chest.