Targartpanbarncubhim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, proud tortoise.

Targartpanbarncubhim created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targartpanbarncubhim, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Targartpanbarncubhim, she will try to impress you with trees.

Targartpanbarncubhim's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Targartpanbarncubhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dogs.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must pray to Targartpanbarncubhim four times a day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.