Cutzenveen is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, irritating clam.

Cutzenveen created the Small Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Cutzenveen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cutzenveen, it will turn you into a goat.

Cutzenveen's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cutzenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Cutzenveen loves foxes, so they must be respected.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not kill dolphins.

5. Never wear mauve coats.