Kanmantam is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, self-confident wyvern.

Kanmantam created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanmantam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kanmantam, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kanmantam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kanmantam's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away if five frogs approach from the east.

4. Never paint your arms orange.

5. Never eat bark.