Kimpascar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, sapient armadillo.

Kimpascar created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimpascar, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kimpascar, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Kimpascar's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Kimpascar's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never sprint in the presence of eagles.