Wabcem is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, flying raccoon.

Wabcem created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Wabcem, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wabcem, it will have a low opinion of you.

Wabcem's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Wabcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wabcem.

3. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

4. Do not speak about cherries.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.