Waplinleg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless dugong.

Waplinleg created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Waplinleg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Waplinleg, he will torture you forever.

Waplinleg's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Waplinleg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Put Waplinleg first in all things.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.