Nabtonstikster is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind salamander.

Nabtonstikster created the Virgo Supercluster nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nabtonstikster, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nabtonstikster, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nabtonstikster's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nabtonstikster's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Nabtonstikster in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never feed turnips to eagles while wearing tights.

4. Hide if six shrews approach from the north.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.