Sidlegpit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, selfish hippopotamus.

Sidlegpit created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidlegpit, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sidlegpit, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Sidlegpit's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Sidlegpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. You must never eat grapes.