Fotkemfig is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, irritating tortoise.

Fotkemfig created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotkemfig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fotkemfig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fotkemfig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Fotkemfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not take Fotkemfig's name in vain.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never eat rice.