Vadbasslam Ominbumhak is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, fussy sheep.

Vadbasslam Ominbumhak created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadbasslam Ominbumhak, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vadbasslam Ominbumhak, she will torture you forever.

Vadbasslam Ominbumhak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Vadbasslam Ominbumhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect six silver sculptures of Vadbasslam Ominbumhak on top of important buildings.