Hapkabvil is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, resourceful shrew.

Hapkabvil created the Sol system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hapkabvil, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hapkabvil, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hapkabvil's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hapkabvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Do not kill snails.

5. Never look in ponds.