Tofyimlik is a god.
She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust
rhinoceros.
Tofyimlik created life two quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Tofyimlik, she will look on you favourably.
If you do not believe in
Tofyimlik, she will turn you into a plant.
Tofyimlik's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.
Tofyimlik's Holy Commandments1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.
2. Do not hurt monkeys.
3. Retreat if eight goats approach from the north.
4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near eagles while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing four lead spheres on your neck.
5. Never look in ponds.