Nutcemraglan Bif is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, emotional toad.

Nutcemraglan Bif created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutcemraglan Bif, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nutcemraglan Bif, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nutcemraglan Bif's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Nutcemraglan Bif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Run away from green horses, for they are unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Nutcemraglan Bif in the centre of the settlement.