Vidbitflatfit is a god.

She takes the form of a small, loving crocodile.

Vidbitflatfit created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidbitflatfit, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vidbitflatfit, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vidbitflatfit's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Vidbitflatfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about archaea.

2. Never sing in the presence of eagles.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Vidbitflatfit loves pigs, so they must be honoured.