Hivbodfen is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fast rat.

Hivbodfen created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Hivbodfen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hivbodfen, she will jump up and down on your head.

Hivbodfen's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Hivbodfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near eagles while wearing blue kilts and balancing eight iron spheres on your feet.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.