Vad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking squid.

Vad created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vad, it will turn you into a sheep.

Vad's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.