Genafspag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, emotional monkey.

Genafspag created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Genafspag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Genafspag, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Genafspag's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Genafspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Worship no other gods but Genafspag.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Never think about dark matter near voles while wearing magenta shorts and balancing three tin spheres on your arms.