Zogsistik is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciless shark.

Zogsistik created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogsistik, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zogsistik, he will turn you into a worm.

Zogsistik's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Zogsistik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never paint your face fawn.