Bidcussjam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, capable parrot.

Bidcussjam created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Bidcussjam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bidcussjam, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bidcussjam's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bidcussjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Bidcussjam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bidcussjam.