Rutjinxen is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, overgenerous fish.

Rutjinxen created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutjinxen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Rutjinxen, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Rutjinxen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Rutjinxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near rats.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Rutjinxen on top of important buildings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never bounce in the presence of pigs.