Targvilquag Negteenvad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic finch.

Targvilquag Negteenvad created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targvilquag Negteenvad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Targvilquag Negteenvad, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Targvilquag Negteenvad's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Targvilquag Negteenvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest turquoise.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about porpoises.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never write about chromosomes.