Kanfitgeb is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, emotional otter.

Kanfitgeb created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanfitgeb, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kanfitgeb, she will be very sad.

Kanfitgeb's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kanfitgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kanfitgeb first in all things.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Kanfitgeb in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Worship no other gods but Kanfitgeb.