Titgonzig is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, self-confident raccoon.

Titgonzig created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Titgonzig, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Titgonzig, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Titgonzig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Titgonzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Always help otters in need.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in black.