Gofcapmum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, clever raccoon.

Gofcapmum created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofcapmum, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gofcapmum, he will try to impress you with trees.

Gofcapmum's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Gofcapmum's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Hide if seven tortoises approach from the west.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Gofcapmum in the centre of the settlement.