Tarphashad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, weak wren.

Tarphashad created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarphashad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarphashad, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tarphashad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tarphashad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never think about spacetime near tapirs while wearing indigo corsets and balancing three iron spheres on your feet.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.