Tankabsad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring slug.

Tankabsad created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tankabsad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tankabsad, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tankabsad's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tankabsad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine mice approach from the east.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near goats while wearing green stockings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your arms.

4. Tankabsad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.