Gadhenmif is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, witty guinea pig.

Gadhenmif created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadhenmif, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gadhenmif, he will turn you into a mouse.

Gadhenmif's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Gadhenmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never look at galaxies.