Witnigbep is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, thoughtless rhinoceros.

Witnigbep created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witnigbep, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Witnigbep, it will boil you in a big pot.

Witnigbep's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Witnigbep's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always help manatees.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near dolphins while wearing fawn stockings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.