Satfetpak is a god.
It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent
snake.
Satfetpak created vertebrates two billion years ago.
If you believe in
Satfetpak, it will smite all your enemies.
If you do not believe in
Satfetpak, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.
Satfetpak's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.
Satfetpak's Holy Commandments1. Do not commit murder.
2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.
3. Retreat if nine doves approach from the west.
4. Never talk about quantum gravity.
5. Never think about dark energy near snakes while wearing mauve corsets and balancing six titanium spheres on your chest.