Wondinwot Lunlargdav is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, pitiless turtle.

Wondinwot Lunlargdav created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wondinwot Lunlargdav, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wondinwot Lunlargdav, it will throw large rocks at you.

Wondinwot Lunlargdav's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Wondinwot Lunlargdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention voles.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.