Bemsidvagpophogbassnat Zagsitshav is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, calm mink.

Bemsidvagpophogbassnat Zagsitshav created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Bemsidvagpophogbassnat Zagsitshav, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bemsidvagpophogbassnat Zagsitshav, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bemsidvagpophogbassnat Zagsitshav's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bemsidvagpophogbassnat Zagsitshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never paint your chest blue.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.