Quillortpod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, bad-tempered zebra.

Quillortpod created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillortpod, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quillortpod, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Quillortpod's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Quillortpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near mites.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quillortpod.

4. Do not kill dolphins.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.