Loopcablip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witless donkey.

Loopcablip created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopcablip, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Loopcablip, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Loopcablip's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Loopcablip's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not chop down trees.