Larnhamgadfom is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful hedgehog.

Larnhamgadfom created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnhamgadfom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larnhamgadfom, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Larnhamgadfom's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Larnhamgadfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Worship no other gods but Larnhamgadfom.

3. Do not speak about oranges.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.