Lakpibfly is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, staggering cow.

Lakpibfly created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakpibfly, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lakpibfly, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lakpibfly's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Lakpibfly's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lakpibfly.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.